среда, 24 апреля 2013 г.

Тюремный дневник: 23 апреля 2013


10 лет, 1 месяц и 28 дней со дня ареста 
Тюрьма MDC Brooklyn, East Side, Нью-Йорк

11:00   "Если ты можешь посмотреть в семена времени и сказать, какое зерно взойдет, а какое – нет, тогда говори со мной." 
"Макбет" Шекспира (действие 1, сцена 3)

13:00   Как всегда замечательно пишет Pico Iyer: эссе про Natsume Soseki "Masters of Doing Nothing at All" (The New York Review of Books Feb 7, 2013):


"... an individual's job in public Japan is to keep his private concerns and feelings to himself and to present a surface that gives little away. That the relation of surface to depth is uncertain is part of the point; it offers a degree of protection and lets you be yourself. The fewer words are spoken, the easier it is to believe you're standing on common ground."


Неизвестный художник. Вид дороги и деревянных домиков на холме Noge, возле Йокогамы, около 1990 года.
Из книги "Japanese Dream", Favrod Collection/Raccolte Museali Fratelli Alinari, Флоренция. Фото: NYRB.
"[Japan is] the country of conflict avoidance..."

"... in Japan ... intimacy is shown not by all that you can say to someone else, but by all that you don't need to say."


"... they only way of claiming independence is by sitting in a prison they've made themselves."


15:30   Смешной трофей с библиотеки: "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak. Ну вот, наконец-то увидел о чем это все, а то ж все кружат восторженные хороводы вокруг этого дела, куда ни глянь, а саму книгу не встречал. И лучше бы и не встретил.

17:00   Colin Wilson "Beyond the Occult
":

"... we recognize that the future is fairly rigidly predetermined but not absolutely so, and that human beings have a certain limited power to alter it. But since most human beings habitually follow the path of least resistance, most lives are, to all intents and purposes, predetermined."

"... the main problem is obvious: we are simply too preoccupied with our immediate concerns. Everyday life demands a fairly constant state of alertness, and this prevents us from paying attention to the still small voice of the other self. Which explains why so many 'intrusions' seem to occur when people are in a state of relaxation, or hypnagogia, or even dreaming."

"At Level 6
'magic consciousness' we seem to be floating in a sea of meaning and find it hard to understand how we could ever have been unhappy, or how anyone else could be. Even the worst experiences of the past now seem deeply interesting attempts to teach us something, essential steps on the upward path to this sense of optimism and control. The only tragedy in the universe seems to be that so many people lack the courage and sheer dogged stubbornness to keep going and so miss this literally 'heavenly' sense of wonder and reconciliation."

"... a point of central importance: it is surprisingly easy to move from one level to another; the chief obstacle is doubt
that moment-to-moment feeling that the efforts demanded by life are not really worth it. And, as Blake says: 

   If the sun and moon should doubt
   They'd immediately go out.


Фото: Bill Curtsinger/National Geographic Stock
Yet it is doubt that offers us the essential key to this problem. Consider what happens when you experience that sinking feeling, or when you force yourself to do dome task that strikes you as a waste of time. You 'leak', and your energies drain away. Most of us spend a great deal of our lives trying to cope with leakage, with an underlying lack of enthusiasm for everyday tasks. Doubt causes our energies to become scattered and diffused."

"... human beings create most of their own problems through their confused and negative attitudes. They then compound the problem through mistrust and a kind of self-belittlement."


21:00   "Diving Deep into Danger" by Nathaniel Rich (NYRB Feb 7, 2013). Как бы красиво ни рассуждали эти saturation divers о том, что это у них из-за тяги к глубинной романтике, на самом-то деле – в данном случае – они в этом исключительно, увы, из-за денег. 

Музыка: Bee Gees "Tragedy" & Pierre Bachelet "L'Homme En Blanc"

"Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention."
Amy Tan


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